It's Your Standards, Sir!

The drug addict will tell you that he is a good person, and the addiction is only a means of relief. And we may have our own perceptions of him but I remember the few that I have met at the hospital ward - they did not appear 'bad' to me. By his standards, he may be absolutely right.

The father who raped his own daughter, incarcerated her in a dungeon, together with other children who were born through her, claims that he wasn't a bad person. He said that he did care for his children's needs and it was him who decided to bring his daughter to the hospital after 20 over years of 'imprisonment' when she was ill. By his standards, he may not be entirely wrong.

And all of us with religion (whatever they may be) will 'preach' to you varying standards, as proposed by our beliefs.

I have finally learnt the actual meaning of not imposing your standards on others. It was not very long ago.

In those years of learning, I have seen that the very same people who have said these seem to impose their standards. Perhaps in a diplomatic way. Perhaps in a more subtle manner.

If we judge by our own standards, and trust our judgment of what is perceived to be right and wrong - I will agree that we cannot always go wrong. After all, there should be some amount of 'substance' in us given the learning experiences, all that moral education in school, our bringing up and the inherent values that are in us, and yes, the academic qualifications next to our names. I mean, if we had no discernment of what is acceptable and what is not, it will be quite pitiful.

The bigger question in all this will be - will the standards we perceive as right (e.g. allowing a patient to decide his/her own treatment benefits based on her preference) be always correct? Could we be wrong? In the event of 'caring' and 'doing the best for the patient', could we have made some miscalculations? Pay attention, please: This may be a gross mistake!

And we cannot console ourselves with: To err is man, to forgive is divine...bla bla...

The last time I checked, no single mortal being is indispensable. That is the reason we keep making mistakes and console ourselves with the saying; we learn from our mistakes.

I find it amusing that healthcare workers have so much of trust in their own personal standards and scorn at religious standards (whichever religion it may be). The point is, they are both measured against some sort of a standard.

Maybe some of us have embraced that we are not governed by our personal standards, for the sole reason that we cannot fully trust ourselves. And since there is a higher being with higher standards, we follow in obedience. We too have good intentions of not causing harm and showing care, amidst our different 'reference points'.

Personally, it is easier to be governed by my own standards. Seeing the world through my eyes wouldn't be a real problem. But I remember my imperfections and shortcomings. I cannot be always right. Even if it seems right.

So I don't seem to get this line: Please do not impose your religious standards.

I think you mean: Please consider my personal standards as you choose to follow whatever you perceive as right.

Please don't say: I care for the patient so I do such. (Thank you very much, but so do most of us!)

Cause I would then ask: Would that mean that you care for the patient more than I do? Have you not considered that I may also care and mean well (though I may not necessarily have a pure heart as yours, cause incidentally I am on a constant journeyof developing a pure heart)?